OUR INVESTMENTS WILL LAST FINE - WE JUST HAVE TO DIE SOONER!
MONDAY! You gotta be kidding! We're in Mexico drinking cervza, you're in wherever, doing whatever, and you hate your boss. No offense, but consider faking an injury and going on disabilty - it worked for us! - and the county's checks NEVER bounce. But in Mexico none of that really matters. Trust us, if you take care of the Federales they take care of you! And lets just say that after Stacy spent a few hours with seven of them we have no more worries in the entire country!
Anyway, we had to switch resorts after the whole "Federale thing," (too noisy) so we packed up our beach wear in a Hefty bag and wandered down the highway. It wasn't long before we came across a sign that we thought was advertising what looked like a topless resort - and Kevin is VERY proud of his "man-boobs" (they're small but they're real!)! After quickly following the fence-line we found what we were looking for, and just like when we busted out of county lockup in Mississippi, there was hole in it and we slipped through. Look, wristbands are for losers! Why pay all that money when you can get "all-you can-eat" by just slipping through the fence and acting indignant with the front desk.
So here's the deal - it isn't that great of a resort (but the plumbing works) , it isn't topless (sucks!) and it definitely isn't "all-inclusive (but seriously, we didn't pay to get in here anyway). Folks, we figure that anything that isn't a great time is great story - and this place is DEFINITELY a GREAT story! It turns out that it's a "Locals" hotel and we've met all sorts of interesting people here. You'd be amazed that the hooker in the room next door to us (sorry, "sexual facilitator") can solve non-linear multiple regressions in her head - okay she can't - but when she walks down the hall in her fishnets and knee high leopard boots you really don't care about math anymore. CAn it get any better? OH YEAH! Tomorrow is Tuesday, our neighbor is throwing a party and...

"Topes" translated means.....well just look at the picture! Why pay for wristbands? - this is easier!

It's not the Ritz, but we didn't pay, right? ....and look at the GREAT beachfront view!
Anyway, we had to switch resorts after the whole "Federale thing," (too noisy) so we packed up our beach wear in a Hefty bag and wandered down the highway. It wasn't long before we came across a sign that we thought was advertising what looked like a topless resort - and Kevin is VERY proud of his "man-boobs" (they're small but they're real!)! After quickly following the fence-line we found what we were looking for, and just like when we busted out of county lockup in Mississippi, there was hole in it and we slipped through. Look, wristbands are for losers! Why pay all that money when you can get "all-you can-eat" by just slipping through the fence and acting indignant with the front desk.
So here's the deal - it isn't that great of a resort (but the plumbing works) , it isn't topless (sucks!) and it definitely isn't "all-inclusive (but seriously, we didn't pay to get in here anyway). Folks, we figure that anything that isn't a great time is great story - and this place is DEFINITELY a GREAT story! It turns out that it's a "Locals" hotel and we've met all sorts of interesting people here. You'd be amazed that the hooker in the room next door to us (sorry, "sexual facilitator") can solve non-linear multiple regressions in her head - okay she can't - but when she walks down the hall in her fishnets and knee high leopard boots you really don't care about math anymore. CAn it get any better? OH YEAH! Tomorrow is Tuesday, our neighbor is throwing a party and...
"Topes" translated means.....well just look at the picture! Why pay for wristbands? - this is easier!
It's not the Ritz, but we didn't pay, right? ....and look at the GREAT beachfront view!

Hey guys, since you like Mexico so much I signed you up for the mar run for the sun to San Felipe you can pay me later.. Mar 7-10th...can't wait shine up the Harley!!!
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Here we go again-no wonder Americans are frowned upon by the international community! Please consider changing your passports to some far (the further the better) Eastern country so that America can restore itself to a respectable level in the global picture. With tourists like you guys loose in the world, travel agencies will one day close due to a lack of respect. At least the Japanese always have cameras around their necks. Have a great time in Mexico and remember that they are building a fence across the boarder to keep rif-raf like you out of the country!
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Why you silly bastards - why do you put yourselves through all that excruciating humiliation? You're belittling yourselves - it's degrading, but we also forgot that you were former mental patients! You know what though? We still cannot help but love you two. Have a great vacation.
guy and cary.
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Son, why is the CIA quzzing me about both of you and about "Coyotes" and wire cutters? I thought you were just resting at a Mexican resort.
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