IT's THURSDAY!  And by the grace of God, it's only one more day until Stacy gets home from her road trip and life can get back to the normal drunken debauchery that it usually is.  Look, I'm not complaining, she did prepay for hours of internet porn and she did stock the kitchen up with plenty to eat from Food-4-Less (where do you think we got the name idea for Riding-4-Beer!).  But I'm tired of eating tuna spread on Nacho Doritos and watching midgets dressed as clowns do things to each other that I personally believed were medically impossible.

What is it that they say?  "When life deals you lemons..." GET SOME VODKA AND MAKE MARTINIS!  And folks, that's exactly what I'm doin'.  I inventoried the cupboards and found plenty of stuff that I can mix up and prepare some gourmet meals.  You know, I am a pretty accomplished chef - actually formally trained at school!  Well not exactly, but in third grade I had to "bump" the dirty plates and clean the food traps in the cafeteria dishwasher for a week because I'd looked up Becky Simmon's skirt on the playground.  That should count as formal training in a commercial kitchen if you ask me!

Let's see, a balanced meal has twice as much protein as it has carbohydrates and should have vegetables of varying color in volume equal to the protein.  (WOW!  I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool and I found it on the internet in a Google search when I entered "edible panties" between porn sites).  In the end though, it's all about comfort food, right?  That's why I settled on some favorite recipes from when I was a kid and whipped up a Tater-Tot casserole and threw something on the barbecue!  Folks, it doesn't get much better eatin' than this, unless you count barbecued muskrat, but they're a protected species these days so I had to settle on the "other white meat."   I am getting a bit tired of my own cooking these past few days though, so tonight, since it's Friday Eve, I'm heading out on the town and...

      
We had plenty to make a casserole with!                        Just mix it all up and pop it in the oven - Corningware BABY!

      
Why do you think they call her, "Barbie!"                           Good food is all about the presentation - TRULY GOURMET!