MONDAY:

6:12am -     BAM!! "Why do those ass-clowns have to throw the newspaper to hit that steel roll-up door at
                   the storage yard next door?  Why in the Hell does storage unit #23 even get a newspaper?"

6:15am -    "zzzzzzzzzzzzz"

10:47am -    BRRRING!...BRRRING!  "Why would ANYONE be calling at this ridiculously early hour?"  

                    "Shut up and let the machine get it!"

10:48am -    "zzzzzzzzzzzz"

10:49am -    "Hello.  We're not able to answer the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number and the
                    warrant you're trying to serve, we'll have our public defender contact you after he makes bail in Reno."

11:24am -    "Hey!  We're missed the morning football game!"

                    "Shut up - there's no football - it's Monday." 

                    "The players are all pussys!" 

11:25am -    "zzzzzzzzzzzz"

12:40pm -    "What's wrong with you?  I was sound asleep!  Is that thing always hard?!!"

                    "It's supposed to be hard - it's a tool baby!  It's an implement of destruction!  It's a hammer!
                     Why do you think they call it banging?"

                    "Yeah right.  You watch too much F'ing porn!"

                    "No seriously, it's a hammer.  I left it here last night by accident after I finished pounding the spring
                     back into the sofa/sleeper."

12:41pm -    "zzzzzzzzzzzz"

1:18pm -      "We should get up, we're gonna miss all the good cans and bottles from the dumpster in back of
                     the RanchMart.  Monday is pickup day!"

                     "That's not a hammer - it's a crescent wrench.  What's a crescent wrench doing in bed?"
 
                     "Whatever.  At least the spring doesn't stick out anymore.  Remember I tore my Batman pajamas 
                     on it last week?  Now come on we gotta get going!"

1:19pm -       "zzzzzzzzzzzz"

2:36pm -       "Hey!  That wrench is cold!  What are you trying to do?!!!!  Oh, cool! I get it... Here, lemme get the
                      Pop Tart box out of the way - it's jabbing me in the back"

Look, tomorrow is another day, and we gotta get up then because of the hearing at the County Assistance Office...

      
It really was a hammer!  I didn't take one of those blue pills!        You'll never think the same about a wrench again!

                                                  
                                                      You'll just have to trust us on the wrench "thing!"