What lurks in at midnight on Monday and ruins the next 24 hours?  TUESDAY!  Seriously, we looked it up on the internet (see, the internet is useful for something other than watching porn and ordering Viagra) and last year Tuesday was voted the most dis-liked day of week.  We're followers, not leaders, so we hate Tuesdays now as well!  If the masses say Tuesdays suck, then we say "suck, suck, suck!"

Speaking of sucking, you won't believe this!  Look folks, we're not that smart when it comes to money and banking and financial matters (that's why we live in 20 year old double-wide in a trailer park).  But, like the rest of America we have the dream of home ownership - and who could help us achieve that dream better than America's #1 home lender, COUNTRYWIDE!  We've sure heard allot about them on the news lately, so we figured they'd be perfect to get us one of those adjustable rate sub-prime loans everybody is talking about.

Here's a life lesson:  Just like using the rhythm method for birth control, in financial transactions timing is everything!  We gave the folks at Countrywide copies of our last two year's tax liens, we have a 400 FICO score and the County verified our monthly assistance check amount - but who knew that Countrywide's FICO was lower than ours!!!  It's pretty sad when your sub-prime lender can't get a sub-prime loan for themselves.  But you know what?  We can always get $20 credit at a local bar and that's good enough to keep the beer flowing...

      
All we needed was a $750,000 loan to buy it!                             The Countrywide manager said it'd be no problem!

      
This is the only reason we didn't bust up the place!                                       Now that's a GREAT idea - MORE BARS!