MONDAY morning blues?  NEVER IN CHINA!  We've been on our way around the world (it's the 2008 Riding4Beer World Tour - remember?) for about a week now and it's already changed our lives for the better.  With the vast time difference, jet lag, night travel and lack of nachos, we've been going to sleep around 11pm and getting up around 7am every day.  We realize that's a normal circadian rhythm (pretty impressive word, huh?) for most of you, but in our lives up until a week ago we never went to bed before 2am (unless there was REALLY good porn on pay-per-view), and we never got up before noon (unless there was a bill collector pounding on our door).

We're eating better too!  Last night (our first in Xi'an) we went to another "fire pot" restaurant.  Stacy is really getting the hang of cooking - well dunking stuff in boiling water anyway.  After dinner we went to a local massage parlor for a CHEAP (like REALLY CHEAP) relaxing massage.  Okay all you spa rats, a one hour massage/salt rub was 40 yuan (which is only six dollars!).  Kevin paid 70 yuan ($10 bucks) for the "complete" massage which he didn't realize at the time included a "happy ending!" (NOT KIDDING!).  It's all good, right?

Today we ventured onto the Chinese bus system (line #306 - just 7 yuan next time you're in town!) and headed out to see the Terra Cotta Warriors.  Okay folks, it's serious time for a sentence or two.  THE TERRA COTTA WARRIORS ARE OFF THE F'ing CHART!  Let's just say that seeing what has been called the "8th Wonder of the World" from just 50 feet away makes the entire China portion our trip worth while (well, that plus the "happy ending" massage).  Imagine being emperor of China 5,000 years ago, you die and they replicate your entire army of 8,000 warriors in life size terra cotta along with their horses, kill them all and then bury the whole thing for 50 centuries!  That's a whole lot better than being a former U.S. president and having to whore yourself out trying to get votes for your lying wife! (Forget about sending us "hate emails" - it's not about her being a woman - it's about her not putting out for Bill!).  Speaking of "putting out," it's time for us to find a dive Chinese bar and put out some yuan for a beer or ten...

                                     EXTRA - EXTRA BONUS DAY!  SIX PICTURES AND A VIDEO - WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL!

      
View from our bus window - traffic is just like in L.A.                                  Kevin tried to hop the rail and get in free

      
Kevin told him about the "happy ending" and got off with a warning!            Stacy smiled and took another Prozac!

              
Folks, we NEVER saw this kind of sh_t at Disneyland!                   Is that Larry in the 5th row and 2nd from the left?

                                                        YOU KNOW THE DRILL - JUST CLICK ON THE ARROW!