WEDNESDAY – AMSTERDAM!  “Dear Diary,  It’s been 417 days in this little apartment without internet access, or MTV.”   Okay, Okay, maybe Ann Frank didn’t write that, but Amsterdam is where she hid from those Nazi bastards and it is where she wrote her famous diary.  We know because we stood in line for three hours (in the rain), paid $12 bucks each (who exactly gets that money?) and got to wander around her apartment for about five minutes (it’s only two rooms).  And you thought we had no appreciation for history!

Okay, so this is our second full day here in the “Netherlands” (isn’t that the name of Michael Jackson’s ranch?) and windmills and tulips aside, HOLLAND ROCKS!  More specifically, AMSTERDAM ROCKS!  Let’s see, the pubs stay open all night selling ice cold Budweiser (sponsor of the 2008 Riding4Beer World Tour) and there are tons of stores selling marijuana (or so we’ve been told) with “pizza-by-the-slice” shops conveniently located next to each one.

But wait, here’s the best part.  The prostitutes in the Red Light District pose in store windows in their lingerie so you can see what you’re buying before you hand over the trailer space rent for the month!  None of this low light, lean out of the car window, worry about the police crap we have to put up with like when we hire ‘em in East L.A.  Folks, just like when you’re buying tools at Sears, here in Amsterdam you can check out the merchandise before signing over your welfare check - and since it’s late afternoon we think it’s time to go shopping at the mall again…

                                                                  PICS, BABY!  YOU GOTTA LOVE THEM!

      
A long line just to see a 2 room apartment!                            Any odds that we can get these home for our friends?

      
Just like at home we go to the supermarket everyday!                      Typical prostitute storefront at the sex mall!