THERE ARE GOOD JOBS AND THEN THERE ARE HAND JOBS!
MONDAY! Carpe Diem! Actually we prefer another version - Carpe Fermentus! (Seize the Beer!). Folks it's the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL week here in the French Quarter in New Orleans. It's Christmas week and we're expecting a lot of presents - not from friends and family, but from public agencies. We 're hoping for bags of groceries, a free Christmas tree, maybe even some toys for the kids (that we don't have). See, sometimes it pays to have seven Social Security Numbers!
Anyway, today we were up bright and early (11am Central TIme) so we could make it to our part timejobs. That's right, we have employment here in New Orleans. We're Parking Dummies! It's the best job going and here's how it works. People that have meetings or other b_llshit in the central business district, and are too cheap to pay $20 bucks for an hour of parking, pay us $10 to sit in their double parked cars on the street and move 'em around the block if the cops come (NOT KIDDING!). Sometimes the meetings only last 20 minutes or so, but we still get the full $10 bucks! Oh, but it gets even better.
We know that we're supposed to sit right outside the building in their car and only move it around the block if the cops come, but we figure why take that chance. As soon as the rich assh_oles go in to their meetings we take off with the car and head to a strip club or rent it out as a gypsy cab and run people to the airport. If they come out early and the car is gone we just tell 'em we had to move it around the block and got stuck being someone unloading office furniture - works every time! And today we even have about $20 left over (after lap dance fees) from the $100 we made! After our hard days work we're headed out to celebrate with Monday Night Football, a few new friends (Tianna and Pettsie) we made at the strip club (when their shift ends) and some ice cold Budweiser!...
Guys like this NEVER know where we've taken their car! This guy didn't even have time to wait to be in the photo!
We ran 4 Japanese tourists to the airport in this baby! The taxi scam doubles our hourly earnings!
Anyway, today we were up bright and early (11am Central TIme) so we could make it to our part timejobs. That's right, we have employment here in New Orleans. We're Parking Dummies! It's the best job going and here's how it works. People that have meetings or other b_llshit in the central business district, and are too cheap to pay $20 bucks for an hour of parking, pay us $10 to sit in their double parked cars on the street and move 'em around the block if the cops come (NOT KIDDING!). Sometimes the meetings only last 20 minutes or so, but we still get the full $10 bucks! Oh, but it gets even better.
We know that we're supposed to sit right outside the building in their car and only move it around the block if the cops come, but we figure why take that chance. As soon as the rich assh_oles go in to their meetings we take off with the car and head to a strip club or rent it out as a gypsy cab and run people to the airport. If they come out early and the car is gone we just tell 'em we had to move it around the block and got stuck being someone unloading office furniture - works every time! And today we even have about $20 left over (after lap dance fees) from the $100 we made! After our hard days work we're headed out to celebrate with Monday Night Football, a few new friends (Tianna and Pettsie) we made at the strip club (when their shift ends) and some ice cold Budweiser!...
Guys like this NEVER know where we've taken their car! This guy didn't even have time to wait to be in the photo!
We ran 4 Japanese tourists to the airport in this baby! The taxi scam doubles our hourly earnings!
Its good to see that you two are "earning" some real money. This only proves that those late night info-mercials really are worth watching! Who needs a BA, Masters or Ph.d from an expensive college when all you need is BS!
Keep smiling and have fun!
Wendy and Ron
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A friend told me to look at this site and at first I thought B.S., these people are liars. But now with all these pictures and you're really doing this shit I'm a believer! When are you coming to Memphis so we can party together? How can I send you my cell phone number without everyone here reading it? Seriously!
Ben
STACY & KEVIN REPLY:
BEN!
If you can round up some off-work strippers, or some drunk college chicks, or even a couple of bored housewives whose husbands are outta town on business, then we're on our way! Seriously, the Riding4Beer Winter Wonderland Tour will be on the road after Christmas and if you'll buy the beer and provide the party (and get us a room and pay for gas and buy us food) then we're there! You can email us your cell phone number (and some dirty pics of your girlfriend) always in privacy at riding4beer@yahoo.com . Also send us your Social Security Number, your VISA Card number and your PIN.
Stacy & Kevin
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